Minneapolis Star Tribune Book Review

He Read/She Read

By Karin Winegar & Peter Moore

“I’m With Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstanding Between the Sexes Cleared Right Up” by Gene Weingarten and Gina Barreca ($21, Simon & Schuster, 240 pp)

P: We just read a brand new book together.

K: Well, not really together, more like at the same time.

P: Anyway, it’s called “I’m With Stupid: One Man. One Woman. 10,000 Years of Misunderstanding Between The Sexes Cleared Right Up.” It’s written as a dialogue between Gene Weingarten, the humor columnist for the Washington Post, and Gina Barreca, who’s a professor of feminist studies and English literature at the University of Connecticut, and they are very, very funny together. Or at the same time.

K: The two have never met.

P: I was about to mention that.

K: Well, get to it-you don’t want to bury the lede.

P: They’ve never met- they conducted the discussion through e-mails and the phone, and the result is a charming, thought-provoking and very funny…

K: …you already said funny…

P:

K: Sorry. Keep going, you’re doing fine.

P: …book that while not solving any of the ancient differences between men and women (why we see money so differently, why our ideas of what constitutes real communication are what they are, etc.), presents the two points of view in a fresh and wonderfully articulated way.

K: You need to get more specific.

P: You know what? I have never committed homicide, and I’d like to keep that record intact, so why don’t you take over for a while?

K: Thanks, I will. I just love this book. What’s not to love? Smart people arguing with good humor and educated wit about the really, truly deeply annoying differences, going “chapter by chapter visiting subjects about which men and women disagree.” (p. 8), starting with “Sex and the Single Cell: How It All Began” right on through humor (“Men and Women Are Funny, Just Not to Each Other”) and “Infidelity: Get Out your Hanky. And Your Panky” where Gene insists…

P:...and rightly so…

K:…that marital infidelity is funny -“stealth in the service of the gratification of oneself is very funny” (p. 115) And “hypocrisy in connection with stealth in the service of the gratification of oneself is hilarious” (p. 115). With genuine insight and unbridled wit they discuss a wide range of topics on which men and women historically disagree including fears, dating, love, sports, pornography, compatibility (“Be Careful with That Match”), sexism, our secret pleasures and of course, sex. How can you not adore writers who so deftly mix Elayne Boosler, La Rochefouchauld, Willie Mays and Heloise and Abelard?

P: There’s also a piece of information in there that completely floored me.

K: Let me guess: the fact that women flush public toilets with their feet?

P: Astonishing.

K: Oh, please. We’ve got a book that we both love, a book that just gallops along with fun, fascinating intra-gender debate and you want to focus on potty practices?

P: One more facet of your complicated little selves.

K: If I were to recommend one book this summer to lighten up all the book club lists in America, to counterbalance all the piffle that’s been written about gender, this would be it. Not dumb, not light but treating weighty subjects with lightness of spirit.

P: And that spirit comes from the writers’ genuine respect and affection for one another. This is no name-calling, screeching diatribe; they actually like each other and each other’s gender, even if they frequently find the other’s point of view moronic. It really is a lot of fun, and a great book for couples to read at the same time.

K: Or even together.

Karin Winegar is a freelance journalist. Peter Moore is an actor and director. Obviously, they’re married.